The photo above is of my sweet little girls when they were about one and six years old. It’s one of my favorites because it captures such a tender moment between sisters–one sharing and one listening. Doesn’t it just look like one sister is spilling her whole heart while the other is fully engaged and encouraging her? When I found out our second baby would be another daughter, I envisioned their relationship exactly like this photo. Of course, I knew better than to think every moment of every day would be perfect, but I hoped and prayed they would be friends and love each other dearly.
Now let me back up to the years before our second daughter was born and our first daughter was our only child. So, you know the feeling you experience when your child is playing on a playground and gets hurt, made fun of, or rejected by another child, and you feel defensive on your child’s behalf? It’s that twinge of mama bear protectiveness for your own child. When I had just the one child, there was no question I was going to always protect that child.
When we had two children my heart was in for a bit of a shock. If one of my daughters hurt the other, it would make me sad. Why? Because they’re both my children, and as hard as it was to see my child hurt when the offending party was someone else’s, it was much more hurtful when both parties were mine. I loved them equally. I couldn’t choose sides.
That’s how I began to understand how God feels when His children hurt each other. We’re all His children. He doesn’t want to take sides. He planned for us to be a loving family, sweetly caring for and encouraging each other like my two little girls in the photo.
Ephesians 4:25-32 admonishes us on how to treat our brothers and sisters in Christ and goes on to explain that our offenses toward each other grieve the Holy Spirit. I never even gave these verses full consideration until I was a parent with my own children. It makes our Father sad when we aren’t loving toward our brothers and sisters–HIS children.
So how are we to live with our Christian siblings?
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
So when I’ve been hurt, irritated, angered, misjudged, or rejected by someone and my immediate reaction is ill will towards them, I feel God reminding me that this other person is His child too. I stop and pray, “Lord, I know she’s/he’s Your child too and You love us both. Help me to love them and not grieve Your Spirit”.
So, if hurting others grieves the Spirit, what happens when we are kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving to one another?
Well, I know as a parent that when my children are loving and supportive of one another, it thrills my heart! And even though there is much bickering in the lives of siblings, those moments of my children showing love to each other have definitely been greater in number. As my girls are getting older–one a teen and another in her early twenties–my heart swells with gratitude over their growing relationship.
In my recent post about my younger daughter’s 16th birthday, I shared the many activities that the birthday weekend held, but I purposefully held out one important part to save for this post. My older daughter planned an afternoon of surprise outings for her sister’s birthday gift! She selected a number of stores and locations that are her sister’s favorites and put clues in her glove compartment to be revealed one at a time as they drove around town. They were gone on their excursion all afternoon and came back home that evening having had so much fun together, showing us their purchases, and telling us all about it.
And little did they know the deep satisfaction it gave their dad and me.
Leave a Reply