For My Friends Who Aren’t Moms

Happy Saturday, friends! I’d like to say a little something today to my dear friends who aren’t mothers. I am blessed to have several friends who aren’t married and don’t have children. I say I’m blessed because friendship with these ladies has so much to offer such as their time and their perspective.

I was having a lovely tea lunch with two such friends a little over a year ago. I had a lot going on with my children at the time including planning a wedding for my oldest daughter. Because neither of these sweet women are married and neither have children, I’d purposed in my mind ahead of time not to talk constantly about my children’s activities because I didn’t want to make them feel like they were left out of something. Additionally, I wasn’t going to flood them with details of wedding planning and my daughter’s upcoming nuptials as it was the week of one friend’s wedding anniversary with her late husband and I couldn’t imagine the sadness she’d feel with reminders of young, wedded bliss. My plan was to ask them plenty of questions about their own lives, hearts, and prayer needs and just pour into them for the day.

What happened during our time together was such a testimony of these two ladies’ pure hearts. As we started into our quiche and our conversation, they began asking about my children–their homeschooling, their sports, their health, and their plans after school. I answered briefly and then turned the conversation to topics pertaining to their own lives. They each responded to my questions but then began asking questions about my daughter’s wedding. And I don’t mean that they were asking the general obligatory questions. They were asking with genuine interest and enthusiasm! They wanted all the details. And they didn’t stop. It was truly a heartwarming and humbling experience to witness their selfless friendship towards me. These women also pray for my children on a regular basis, checking in regularly to see how things are going in my “mom world” and offering great encouragement.

To all my friends without children, I’d like to say that I not only see YOU but I see your God-given mothering instincts being put to wonderful use in so many ways. You don’t have to raise children in your own home to still mother someone who needs it. I see so many of my friends using their mothering instincts by doting on their nieces and nephews, teaching Bible class, rocking babies in the nursery, helping their neighbors, mentoring young women, cooking and hosting in their homes, and caring for so many people in need.

Author Susan Hunt wrote Spiritual Mothering: The Titus 2 Model for Women Mentoring Women. Susan asserts that while moms should most certainly be a spiritual mentor to their own children, all women, with or without children, are called to be spiritual mothers to anyone in need and assures that we already have that mothering nature within us just through our very femaleness. Susan states, “The name El Shaddai and Scripture surely give value to mothering, but they also imply a capacity for mothering that has been given to women. Biological birthing is not the activator of this capacity; women who have never given physical birth still have this mothering capacity and can exhibit mothering characteristics.”

Ladies, your weekend might not be filled with flowers and handmade cards, but please let me wish all of you a Happy Mother’s Day for all the beautiful ways you honor God in mothering others.